Keep Flowing
March 16, 2025
Dr. Paul Cannings
There is no question that marriage has its ups and downs. There are times that the complexity of some issues can make things very difficult. Some of the difficulty arises because it is not just the problem of the marriage, but all the surrounding issues, such as difficulties on the job, extended family, aging parents, health issues, financial issues, etc. This combination can make life seem like one struggle after another.
When my wife and I bought her engagement ring it was a gold ring with a gold rose on it. The gold rose had jagged edges protruding out on all sides. Over the years the edges smoothed out so that only the middle of the rose has some curvature in it. Marriage has a way of working on the jagged edges of each person’s personality, mannerisms, habits, and character, because the very nature of love demands it. “Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” (1 Cor. 13:4-7) The longer a couple remains married, the more change is required. If the rose remains jagged it can tear at clothes or stockings. When the edges get rounded, it creates fewer tears, and after over thirty-five years of marriage, it has more meaning.
Most people want their spouse to think and be the same as them. The constant adjustments of marriage can seem like a never ending visit to the dentist. There is more pain in trying to have things done our way, winning the argument, or controlling the situation, than there is in remaining focused on doing whatever love demands.
A stream forms without anyone cutting a path for it. A path is created because the stream keeps flowing, keeps being flexible, remains one flow of water, and is focused in one direction. The stream remains fresh because it is always flowing. Because it is always flowing it allows all kinds of organisms to live productively in it. Allow the nature of love (1 John 4:7-12), which only comes from obeying God’s Word (1 John 2:3-6), to be the force that drives your marriage. This love creates happy homes because, like those organisms in a fresh stream, children can live in it. Because of a consistent obedience to God, the Spirit of God brings fruit to it and creates joy, peace, longsuffering, self-control, gentleness, goodness, and faithfulness. All these ingredients make a great marriage.
Allow the nature of love to control the temperature of your life, and it will then bless the nature of all your relationships, especially your marriage.